Episode 30

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Published on:

21st Oct 2020

Badass Asian Dudes Own Their Masculinity And Sexuality (ft. Our Radical Asian Practitioners)

Brandon brings on 3 Sex & Relationship Coaches, sexological body workers, and somatic therapists to shine light on sex, intimacy, and dating for Asian men. This is a recording of a live Q&A Panel hosted back in May 2020.

In this episode, we talked about:

  • 10:41 How do you help your partner achieve an orgasm?
  • 18:52 Does masturbating to porn affect sex drive?
  • 26:50 What advice would you give to someone who never got sex teachings?
  • 37:16 How can I shoot bigger loads?
  • 41:17 How to deal with delayed ejaculation
  • 53:13 Is cumming at the same time important?
  • 53:38 Talking to men and other women about sexual hangups
  • 58:17 The impact of sexuality myths in other cultures
  • 01:04:30 How can we build confidence in our own sexual identity outside of societal expectations?
  • 01:17:51 How do you stay emotionally engaged in relationships?

Connect with the coaches!

Dori Melton

As a Sex and Relationship Coach, my mission is to help people prioritize their pleasure as a way to deepen connection in their relationships.

I’m a big fan of LOVE but I learned through my own personal experience that it isn’t always enough. A few years ago my marriage of almost 30 years exploded and I was forced to go through the most difficult transition of my life. It was through that experience that I came to Somatica Sex & Relationship coaching. Although it was, at times, incredibly painful, I came away transformed and am currently living the life of my dreams, full of passion and more love than I imagined possible. I learned how to access and pursue my own desire and follow where that leads me. Today it has led me to help others like myself to go through similar transformations. A few of the areas that I specialize in are guiding individuals and couples in the journey of consensual non-monogamy and other alternative relationship paradigms and helping individuals explore their sexuality whether that is kink, BDSM, role play or the many other vast sex positive alternatives. I am open to all sexual orientations and identify as queer.

I have a MA in Clinical Psychology and worked for 10 years with children and families. That experience has given me a firm foundation in understanding attachment theory and the ability to explore difficult topics in a non-judgmental, non-shaming, compassionate way.   

Kai Wu

Kai Wu is a guide and facilitator who works in the realms of love, sex, and familial and ancestral healing. For over a decade she has supported people of all kinds so they can experience greater connection, peace, and freedom in their bodies, relationships, and communities. She believes that cultivating a sense of belonging and pleasure is essential resilience practice for navigating these uncertain times. 

Some of her specialties and interests include supporting folks through significant life transitions, illness and trauma, unwinding body shame, and sexual challenges (particularly around performance, low libido and pain). Although she welcomes people of all identities, cultures, gender expressions, orientations, abilities and bodies, she is especially passionate about supporting those who want to be lovingly and fiercely held as they step more fully and authentically onto their lifepaths and missions, folks who are Asian/POC , and those who want to engage in Chinese/Asian cultural reclamation work. Her work is rooted in somatics, science, the erotic and the sacred. It can sometimes be hands-on. It is always trauma-informed, loving, and compassionate.

Kai is co-founder of San Francisco-based Embodiment Arts Collective, maintains membership in the American College of Sexologists, and is a senior faculty member of the Ecstatic Living Institute. She has also been faculty at the Somatica Institute. She holds certifications in Sexological Bodywork/Somatic Sex Education, SkyDancing Tantra, and the Somatica Method of sex and relationship coaching. She is multicultural, multilingual, and supports people internationally. For more information about Kai, please visit www.lovebodysoul.com.

Sho-sho Smith

Sho-Sho specializes in helping men through her program, Masculine Arts™. She helps men compassionately unravel ideas of masculinity and erectile performance, and guides them in understanding women and seduction. As an Chinese-American, Sho-Sho also supports Asian-American men and men of color in healing their racial identity around sexuality and masculinity.

Her program for women, Lust for Life™, takes women on personal journeys through self-care, relationship grief and sexual freedom. Within this safe space, women find themselves restored, adored and able to find their glow again.   

Sho-Sho can help you in your sexual exploration and expansion, including opening up monogamous relationships to polyamory, role-play and fantasy, kink and BDSM, while teaching you to navigate two central skills that underpin them all: boundaries and negotiation.

Sho-Sho is also training to be a practitioner of Internal Family Systems Therapy and a sex educator for kids and teens. She is a writer, mother, founder and former-Fortune 500 corporate dropout. Sho-Sho became a Somatica-trained coach after her husband of 20 years died of cancer. No stranger to grief, she launched her coaching practice F U R T H E R M O R E (www.furthermore.love) to help others go from barely surviving to truly thriving. Follow Sho-Sho on Instagram: @furthermore.love and @lustyquestions.  

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About the Podcast

Badass Asian Dudes
A brotherhood of badass Asian dudes seeking their own definition of accomplishment, cultural identity, and masculinity through personal development, mental health, life coaching, emotional intelligence, and psychedelic plant medicine
This is a place for Badass Asian Dudes to become the best version of themselves both on the outside and inside. This is more than achieving big goals just to check off another list. It’s about seeking inner peace, fulfillment, and emotional stability in everything we do, so we can each live longer in our own versions of what a badass life looks like. It's for the Badass Asian Dudes who seek deeper exploration in their emotional intelligence, their masculinity and femininity, and their cultural identity.

On this podcast, we challenge our guests to get real. We talk to Asian male-identifying entrepreneurs, investors, thought leaders, therapists/coaches, entertainers, experts, researchers, etc. about how they managed their internal experience and external obstacles to get to where they are today. So you can have everything you need to truly live a badass life from within.